The Pain of Seeing People Go

There is a pain in this life that is difficult to deal with.

The pain of seeing people go.

I’m not talking about death, though that is heart-wrenching. I’m not even talking about professing believers denying the Savior, though that is tragic and has caused me many tears.

I’m talking about when God sovereignly moves fellow believers to a new city.

I happen to pastor at a church that has a lot of coming and going. People move to Washington DC for a couple of years, they become part of our family and then suddenly get taken away.

It is like your heart is being ripped away.

Maybe it is less common in other cities, but it is heart-wrenching when it happens. As a young pastor, I can’t imagine being able to take this for the rest of my life. And yet I think that it is a blessing in disguise.

I’m thinking of a particular couple right now who leaves today.

They spent years at our church serving like I’ve never seen before. Constantly having people in their homes. Counseling many, many people. Every Sunday you could count on them being in the second row listening to the sermon. You could count on them being in their Sunday school class, volunteering, teaching, serving, and being a constant encouragement to anyone they talked to. You could count on them being in the next hour in the young adult ministry, pointing young people to Jesus, and giving their whole lives to seeing these young people grow in their love for Christ.

And now they are leaving.

Just like that.

Though hard to swallow, I do think that God uses this for His glory, as well. It is important for us to think eternally about this situation. It’s good to be sad, it’s good to cry, but we must take a moment to think about the implications of this difficulty in life. And I find three blessings that we can look to, in order to be encouraged through this trial.

It gives others a chance to step up.

They leave a void. They showed the way. Now it is time for others to fill in the gaps. And boy do they leave a huge void. It may take ten couples to replace them and everything they did but it gives others the chance to serve.

There is always something to do, whether it is discipling someone less mature than you, setting up chairs, making meals, babysitting for couples who are desperate for a date, or reaching out to visitors and practicing hospitality, your church needs you to serve. And sometimes it is when people leave who were doing all those things, and more, that it pushes those left behind to step up and serve more.

It gives another church the chance to be blessed

I personally got to befriend these folks for five years. I’ve grown by watching their example. I’ve learned from them as they faced several difficult trials and saw their godly response to them. And now another church gets to enjoy and learn from them. God was so gracious to our family to be able to call them friends, and though we would have loved to continue to have them around, we must rejoice in the fact that God is going to use them elsewhere for a season.

I’ve heard of many pastors who have a hard time seeing people go, I’ve heard of many churches that become cliquish and are tempted to become a club that really hates to reach out to new members, and though we are all tempted to act this way, we are called to have a universal church mindset. When God sovereignly moves those who we love, although we hate to see them go, we can rejoice in the fact that they will move on to another place, with other churches that can not only benefit from their presence but can shepherd and mentor them way better than I ever could. Let us have open hands that love sharing the blessings God gives us. God owns everything and everyone anyways.

It causes us to long for eternity

Perhaps the hardest thing is just not being able to spend time with them. To talk about ministry. To just enjoy each others’ company. But the fact of the matter is that nothing in this life lasts forever. Though the Lord could cause us to live near each other again in the future, we know one thing for certain is that we will spend eternity together.

It is hard to adopt an eternal mindset, but we must train our minds to think this way. No matter how hard this life gets or whatever we may experience, heaven will be eternal bliss with those who love Jesus. We get a little picture of it every Sunday when we gather together at church.

I’m sure there are so many other blessings that I don’t know about or haven’t considered. What I know is that the Lord has planned this to work for our good as He has promised, and these three things I wrote cause me to rejoice despite going through this sorrow.

I was reminded of an old hymn and I’ll leave you with the words of the hymn, In the Sweet By and By.

There’s a land that is fairer than day ,

And by faith we can see it afar;

For the Father waits over the way

To prepare us a dwelling place there.

In the sweet by and by,

We shall meet on that beautiful shore;

In the sweet by and by,

We shall meet on that beautiful shore.

We shall sing on that beautiful shore

The melodious songs of the blessed;

And our spirits shall sorrow no more,

Not a sigh for the blessing of rest.

To our bountiful Father above,

We will offer our tribute of praise

For the glorious gift of His love

And the blessings that hallow our days.