The Lost Art of Hospitality

When is the last time you had someone over to your home?

So many Christians rarely, if ever, have people in their homes. If they do, it is just family or a few select friends. Some people don’t even know their neighbor’s name, let alone have them over for a meal.

Perhaps you never thought about it, but hospitality is the key to so many areas of the Christian life. I have found that people who practice hospitality are usually the most joyful Christians. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule, and many people can be joyful without practicing hospitality, but for the most part, joy in the Christian life and hospitality go hand in hand.

As I think about the practice of hospitality, I see it as being one of the greatest tools that God can use in our personal sanctification. I’ve also seen how it can be an incredible tool God uses in the lives of our children and their walks with Christ. There are four areas that I’d like to focus on.

Hospitality helps with integrity

Of course, hospitality doesn’t guarantee integrity, but it sure helps. Having people in your home is a way of declaring “I’m an open book.” It’s a declaration that “I’m the same person at my home that I am in the hallways of my church building.” This is why hospitality is a qualification for eldership ( Titus 1:8

). It goes hand in hand with other qualification because for example, it is hard to be above reproach without hospitable at the same time. A church would want to appoint elders who are eager to have people over. Partly because, as a church member, you want to learn how to establish a healthy home.

So many young people–especially those who didn’t grow up in Christian households–are hungry to learn what a healthy home looks like, what a godly marriage looks like, or even what godly parenting is all about. They can see glimpses of it at church, but they can study it in depth inside your home. Starting a practice of establishing an open home is one way God can cause you to grow in being the same person at home that you are at church.

Hospitality helps with talking to others

After talking with hundreds of college students over the last few years, it is quite obvious to me that they don’t know how to hold a conversation. I understand that most of the time they were trying to avoid me since I was talking to them about Jesus, but I have noticed that many people don’t know how to be friendly. Learning the art of conversation on the street is difficult, but in the hallways, at church, it’s also hard. Also, learning it once you’ve reached a certain age is challenging but not impossible. The best way to grow in your ability to hold a conversation with someone is without a doubt in your own home. Sitting at the table during a meal forces you to look at one another and hold an extended conversation.

I get that there are many families even in the church who don’t make it a practice to eat around a table without technology (perhaps that’s the first place to start), but once you’ve mastered this practice, it is imperative for you, and even for your children, to be exposed to guests. It causes you to go out of your comfort zone and to be able to learn the art of holding a conversation.

Hospitality helps against selfishness

Usually, when people come over at the end of a meal, you don’t hand them a check (although come to think of it, I may try it out as a joke next time). It will stand out as an expense of the host, and in a day and age where hospitality is kind of a lost art, it will stick out like a sore thumb in people’s minds. Hospitality is a small way to say “I want to love you without expecting anything in return.” Especially if we invite people who seriously can’t return the gift. Whether they are the orphans, the widows, the poor, the young singles, or even reaching out to people of different ethnicities than us, we should be in the business of selflessly having people into our home for the purpose of helping ourselves and those we host to grow more in love Christ. Paul would call it “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality” ( Rom. 12:13

). Sacrificial giving without expecting anything in return is at the heart of the Gospel, so it is a great picture of what Christ has done for us.

Hospitality helps with evangelism

Some will find this an obvious fact, and others will have never considered this reality. The reason you find it so scary to talk to people is that you’re not used to talking with people. And like I said, having people over is the best way to practice talking and getting to know others. It also helps in the growing your love for people. Having people in your home on a consistent basis will prove difficult if you can’t stand people; on the other hand, it will help you to grow in your ability to care for folks. Sometimes, opening up your home gives you the opportunity for deeper conversation. With other believers, it opens doors to check on how they are doing spiritually, but with unbelievers, it provides an opportunity to talk about their soul. As Paul said, He didn’t just share the Gospel with people but his life as well. ( 1 Thess. 2:8

)

All in all, hospitality is one of the greatest tools God uses to help you grow in your faith. If you don’t have family meals around the table, start there. Once you’ve mastered that, have someone you like over to your home from church. Once you’ve done that, have someone over who you don’t know from church. Then, have people over from church who you don’t really like. Then, walk over to your neighbor’s house and ask them to come over for dinner. Make it a practice to have people in your home consistently, and you will never regret it. I mean what’s the alternative–a Netflix marathon?