“Aren’t You a Little Young?”: 35 Nuggets of Advice for Christian Leaders Under 35

Ume

I became the leader of the ministry where I currently serve at the ripe old age of 27. When my hyper-qualified predecessor, Michael, broached the opportunity with me, he said he wanted to invite me to consider a leadership opportunity ten years too early. Those ten years of “too early” leadership have now come and gone, and I understand better now what he meant. At the time I felt well-trained and ready for the challenge, but scant experience required me to learn most things I would need to know on the job. Areas of unknown immaturity were exposed under pressure. I am really thankful for how the Lord has blessed us through these years with steadfast teammates who have been faithful to our shared mission despite the shortcomings of my being a younger leader.

When I first began leading, my age was the only thing people outside of our organization seemed to notice about my leadership. It was an obvious oddity in Japan where Christian leadership is often inherited by being the oldest person in the group. However, even for people back home it was noticeable. One US pastor put it bluntly, “Aren’t you a little young to be a Team Leader?”

At some point in the last five years or so, I stopped being a younger leader. It happened gradually, but completely. No one mentions my age anymore. Ten years of service plus the greying hair and tired eyes have become a badge of full-grown leadership. But that season of “too early” was very significant for me and our ministry, and before I forget what that was like I want to share some advice and encouragement for other “too early” leaders who are learning as they lead. When I say “younger leader”, I’m mostly envisioning people in their twenties and early thirties, but age is relative to the team and people one is called to serve.

Serving as a younger Christian leader is a unique calling and a situation that most leadership books and training do not address. I want to offer nuggets of advice and encouragement based on my own experience that you can read quickly and think about as you go. Each one of these nuggets flows from years of learning, counsel from others, mistakes I’ve made, grace I’ve received, blood/sweat/tears poured out, etc. Any of these topics could be expanded into a full article, but my goal here is to share a lot of things briefly.

Before diving in, I should emphasize that I am not under the illusion that I am a great leader. I don’t mean that I’ve settled for mediocrity, but I also don’t believe I’ve reached some level of leadership mastery. I am still learning how to be a leader everyday. These are simply some lessons learned from when I was a younger leader for others the Lord has called to lead earlier than worldly wisdom or commonsense says they should.

1. Abide with Christ. Jesus is not kidding when he says, “Apart from me you can do nothing.” The scary thing is that we can do lots of things that amount to doing nothing. Like Martha, we can be anxious and troubled about many things, but miss the one thing that is necessary.
2. Seek to live a gospel lifestyle. “Gospel-centered” is a great desire for leaders and their teams/organizations, but it can be tempting to think we can arrive at perfect “gospel-centeredness”. For me, “gospel lifestyle” captures that what we are seeking is more dynamic and active. The leader and the team members regularly sin, repent, get frustrated, remind one another of promises, have bad days, show mercy and grace, get offended, support areas of weakness, overlook slights, confront about concerns, love one another, etc. And they go back to the transforming truth of the gospel over and over again. It is a way of life that reveals just how good the news of the gospel is rather than a goal to achieve or a standard to measure by.
3. Count the cost. Leadership is deeply related to suffering. The earlier you start to lead, the more suffering you will accrue. You shouldn’t pretend you’re not hurting, but it’s not helpful to whine or throw a pity party. Glory comes through suffering and you signed up for this.
4. Lead from the Word. Regardless of your age and experience relative to your team members, if you know the Word well, you can profitably lead from the Bible in a way that is helpful and compelling.
5. **Inexperience is only cured by experience. **One of my favorite bits of irony in the Bible is when David is told he shouldn’t fight Goliath because he is a youth in contrast to Goliath who is a great warrior that has been fighting since his youth. Experience has to start somewhere.
6. Protect key areas from failure. “Fail fast” is often great for launching projects, but younger leaders need to identify the areas of life where you cannot afford to fail and commit to protecting them (i.e. prioritizing abiding with Christ, marriage, parenting, etc.). You’ll still fail in certain ways and need grace, but some areas can undo you as a leader and must be prioritized above other things.
7. Cultivate humility first and let confidence follow. Those you lead will want you to be confident, but they need you to be humble. Overconfidence in younger leaders is often a lack of confidence overcompensating. But for those around you, it might just seem like overconfidence and can even come off as pride and arrogance. Embrace opportunities for humility.
8. Borrow the wisdom you don’t have. There is a serious cap on how much wisdom you can possess when you are younger even if you are mature in many ways. You’re getting an early start and maybe one day you’ll be a sage, but no need to fake it now. Find people with real wisdom willing to be around you to help balance your energy, vision, and drive.
9. Delegation is learned and earned. It’s harder for younger leaders to delegate well. They will be tempted to want to do everything and some folks they lead will think that arrangement works best. But delegation allows others in the team/organization to realize their potential and keeps the leader from burning out. Good delegation is neither dumping things on people or micromanaging folks. It requires building trust and learning good communication. Listen to those you lead to grow in delegation.
10. Gifts and strengths are wonderful tools for leadership, but they can only take you so far. Younger leaders are often particularly gifted in some ways (that’s part of how you became a younger leader), but you will hit the ceiling on those gifts fast if that’s all you’ve got. Character is more important and will carry you as a leader when your gifts are maxed out and when you have to work in areas you are weak.
11. Live respectably to gain respect. Younger leaders are almost sure to be disrespected in more ways and with greater frequency compared to those who have the same kind of role but are older and more experienced. Don’t chafe at the seeming disrespect. Don’t demand respect. Be faithful and seek to do the right things even when you feel disrespected and you will earn respect over time.
12. Knowing your weaknesses is as important as knowing strengths. Younger leaders are more likely to discover their weaknesses the hard way — on the job, and they’ll want to hide or distract. But weaknesses have the potential to become a kind of strength for your team/organization (i.e. you have to lean on Christ more, you have to raise up others more). It takes a lot of time and practice to do this. Jesus wants to draw near to us in weakness. There is no need to feel ashamed.
13. Keep working to grow in endurance andpatience. Endurance means driving things forward and continuing despite difficulty. Patience means waiting for things to develop and happen in the right time through processes outside of our own grit. You’ll need to grow in both areas. Most younger leaders are naturally better at one than the other, but you will need both to be an effective leader. The Bible teaches us to “be strong” and “wait”.
14. Don’t be afraid of other peoples’ gifts. It is easy for younger leaders to get intimidated about their position when people join their team/organization who are more gifted than they are in various ways. Good leaders are eager to see everyone using all of their gifts well, and the better you are at helping people maximize their potential for good through your team/organization, the more trust you will build and the more likely they will want to continue to serve with you. More than that, your team/organization will be able to maximize its potential as well.
15. The team members will change. It is easy for younger leaders to take it personally when people want to leave the team. And sometimes it is personal! Regardless of the reasons it’s normal for transitions to take place especially as you figure out the kind of team/organization you are leading. Don’t create an environment where people feel ashamed to leave, and don’t squeeze out people who aren’t sure if they are all in. Be patient and dream together about calling. Celebrate new directions. Retention is great, but launching people for new opportunities is also important.
16. Learn to own mistakes. You’ll probably make more mistakes than a more seasoned leader would, but that is fine as long as you own them and seek to learn from them. If you’re the leader, most mistakes your team/organization makes will relate to you even if you weren’t directly responsible. Own what you can.
17. Mistakes are opportunities for everyone to grow. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, but figure out ways to evaluate and learn so that you don’t make the same mistakes over and over again.
18. Whenyou burn out, don’t panic. Yes, I said “when”. It’s virtually a rite of passage for a younger leader, and it’s probably better to offer encouragement for “when” versus “if” you burn out these days. Try to spot it early (indicators include: loss of joy, ineffective despite harder work, the world caving in, your body breaking down or responding to stress in strange ways, etc.) and get help. The Lord can and will use this powerfully.
19. Lots of work travel opportunities are a waste of time. Traveling can make a younger leader look like they’re doing important things, but travel always takes you away from your family and your team/organization (unless you’re totally virtual). Some travel can be a major help and blessing or a key part of your calling, but you’re too young to be on the road or in an airplane constantly if you can help it.
20. Quality time might be most important for older kids, but younger kids need quantity time. Be present if at all possible for family worship, meals, special events, etc. Go on adventures, play games, wrestle, make things. You will not regret spending too much time with them.
21. Don’t change your ministry’s identity too early. You will need to rework your team/organization’s vision and mission at some point. Whether you’re a start-up or leading an existing ministry, this is part of growth in leadership. But if you do it too early, you’ll lack the experience you’ll need to shape it well.
22. Set the bar low. Own that you are young and inexperienced and eager to learn as you go. If you try to prove you’re some kind of savant, a lot of people will think you’re a tool, and worse, some might believe you.
23. Get the stars out of your eyes. Leadership is not about celebrity and you shouldn’t be a diva. If you want that life, find another line of work.
24. **You can’t do everything.**Younger leaders are often filled with energyg and ambition, which is awesome, but in your eagerness to do good, you can try to overlook your limits. Finitude is not a result of the curse of sin. It is the mark of creaturehood. Seeking to usurp finitude is treasonous against the God who has created us as beings with specific limits to our capacities.
25. Lead from the front! (and/or the back and sometimes the side). Good leaders get lost within the service and successes of their team and/or organization. Younger leaders will have a way of leading that feels most natural, but you need to learn to lead from other angles too. What’s best will change depending on the season and circumstances.
26. Take care of your health. Workout often. Sleep enough. Eat well. Get outside whenever possible. These things don’t just help your body, they also support the health of your mind, your relationships with others, and your walk with Christ.
27. Constantly scout for subject matter mentors/advisors. No one will be able to give you all the help you need. But various people can help tremendously in certain areas, including some you might not expect at first.
28. Get counseling sooner than you think you need it. You’re more likely to need it as a younger leader. Starting sooner can be a blessing for you and everyone around you. You’ve probably waited too long already.
29. Get comfortable with awkward conversations. Conflict and confrontations are inevitable for leaders. When you’re younger, this can be particularly tough with folks who are older and more seasoned, but it’s still part of the job. Leadership is deeply associated with conflict management (or better, care for those in conflict). Avoiding the awkwardness now will cause more trouble over time. Getting comfortable with the awkwardness will make you more approachable.
30. **Enjoy different kinds of friends.**You need friends, but being a young leader makes it harder. Lots of your previous peers may not feel like peers anymore, but remain friends if you can. Your new peers might think you’re too young to hang around, but make friends if you can. Your team/organization has lovely people who can be friends, but you are also their leader which can be a challenging dual relationship, but do your best. The easiest way to cultivate depth in friendships is to begin with some breadth in friendships.
31. Neither duty nor flattery are sustainable motivators. Younger leaders will likely feel a greater duty to their teams/organizations because they are tempted to try and prove they deserve the role. They can also feel flattered to have been given such an opportunity and be tempted to over-perform to maintain favor. They need to dump both as soon as possible and find real motivators (the mission of God, the glory of God, etc.) come what may.
32. Block off at least 4 hours in a row or work time each week for silent prayer. Do a whole day if you can. If you are in ministry, you’ll accomplish more in those 4 hours than you will in any other 4 hours. Those blocks will carry you when you are robbed of devotion time due to crises. More than that, it is a weekly declaration that the Lord is the one who must do the work. Don’t ask, “how can I afford to do this?” Ask, “how can I afford not to do this?”
33. Set and keep working hours. You can design whatever type of schedule works well for you using whatever productivity method you find helpful. But do as much of your work as possible within your normal working hours instead of family time, devotional time, exercise time, etc. There will be emergencies and crises, but most emails and meetings are not.
34. Audit your phone habits. Notice how much time you spend staring at your phone and why. Constantly do things to avoid phone obsession. Fast from it, turn off notifications, delete all your apps, etc. as need arises to make it a tool for communication instead of a portal for idolatry.
35. “Enjoy this.” Michael wisely whispered these words to me right before we hosted our first big event under my leadership. There are so many difficulties, challenges, and pain when leading. But leadership is also an honor and a delight. You will have opportunities and will get to see God work in ways that most others will not at your age. Take time regularly to celebrate what God is doing in and through you and your team/organization giving him all of the glory.